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Wednesday, October 30, 2002

 
Question.

Nice Biscuits

Is that nice as in pleasant or Nice as in Southern France?

Anyone who suggests the further option that it is pronounced as that famous sports company will be in danger from a low-flying stale garibaldi!





Tuesday, October 29, 2002

 
Rather than go on about how much work I've got to do you can have Number 2 in the series.

#2 - I have a scar of an anchor on my leg from "tattooing" myself with a rusty nail when 5 years old.

When I was a toddler, or at least pre-school, my favouite toy was a Popeye doll. I understand it went everywhere with me. He wore his white sailors suit top and blue bell bottoms and had a pipe in his mouth which I would no doubt fill with imaginary spinach. And he had a tattoo.

The tattoo was of an anchor and was on his arm and obviously I thought this was a wonderful thing because not long after I started school I decided this was the very thing to get me noticed. My family never had a car when I grew up so the garage was used as a workshop. My grandad, (paternal), was an engineer by trade and we had loads of tools and boxes of nails, screws, hooks and no end of other fixings.

Unfortunately, the art of tattooing doesn't come easy to a 5 year old and to me a tattoo was something which was gouged into you. So off I go to the garage and find a nail, a rather long one, probably 3" or 4" long and, having decided my leg was the optimum site for my handywork began to "tattoo" myself.

Now it has to be said, I am the worlds greatest coward. I don't like pain. It hurts! But I managed to scribe a pretty good interpretation of an anchor with three strokes before either I was happy with the design or the pain suddenly struck. Whichever, there was never a fourth stroke.

I don't know what happened then, no doubt I burst into tears and if I didn't go looking for mummy she would have come looking for me. To this day the scar remains although somewhat faint, towards the top of my left thigh, still in the discernible shape of an anchor.




Monday, October 28, 2002

 
After the winds of yesterday, which at one point revealed one of my neighbours trying to keep his path clear of leaves, not easy with 30-40 mph gusts, today was incredibly blue skied and quite warm. Or at least it was quite warm in the room I was sitting looking out at the fine day whilst listening to some berk from Head Office droning on about something or other. All I fancied doing was going outside and taking a stroll. I didn't, berks from Head Office tend to resent you walking out of meetings and wandering off.





Sunday, October 27, 2002

 
Just before the laptop went into repair I mentioned that I would expand on some of the 50 Fascinating Facts. I might do one a day, I might do them in order, who can tell. I can't I'm not that well organised. Anyway, here's the first.

#1 - Born in the year of the Suez Crisis and The Hungarian Uprising.

Not unsurprisingly, I don't remember either of these events first hand. So what is my first recollection of a big news story? I guess by deduction you might well realise it would have to be the big one that occured in the first half of the sixties, the assassination of JFK.

I don't really remember the "event" at all, I was just short of my 7th birthday, but I remember coming home, probably from school, and my Mum and Grandma watching the televison. A rare occurence in the middle of the afternoon. We're talking about a time well before daytime television when nothing was shown after Watch with Mother at lunchtime until childrens programmes at teatime.

Whilst I vaguely remember hearing the news story, the way my family reacted is by far the more memorable bit. For me of course, the story meant nothing and I'm sure it didn't intrude on whatever game I was about to play, but for them it must have been so outside the norm. Whilst it was a totally different sort of thing I suspect they felt the shock of that in the way we felt the shock of September 11th. They were stunned and I remember them crying, although that may have been when the funeral was shown, and thinking back it must have been one of the first times they would have seen "live news".

From then on there are a number of other news stories I remember, some of which will follow later.





Saturday, October 26, 2002

 
Hopefully I've updated all my broken links plus I've added another three sites to my reading list;

Stupidly Happy.
Expecting to Fly.
Prandial.







 
I rarely listen to folk music, usually only catching it as I flick through different radio stations, but the other night I heard the Rochdale Cowboy introducing a guitarist called Martin Simpson who's won a number of awards and he played a version of Bob Dylans Boots of Spanish Leather. It's not a song I can say I've ever heard, in fact I just had to listen to the audio on the above link to hear Dylans version, and I'd have to say I prefers Dylans voice out of the two of them but Simpsons guitar playing was exceptional.

He's playing in London on November 9th and I'm highly tempted to see if I can still get a ticket just on that one hearing. If there are any budding Pop Idles reading this, and yes I did mean to spell it like that, go and hear what a musician can manage that knows how to play an instrument.





Friday, October 25, 2002

 
Following the hack attack on Blogger earlier today I have just logged back in to discover my site is full of complete drivel and utter bollocks.

Phew, no damage here then!

Lets hope all stays quiet in bloggerland in the future.







 
Worst weekend of the year this. I'm just sat here clockwatching going: This time last week........ This time last week............ etc.

Still, an extra hour in bed this Sunday morning. Don't forget. There's nothing worse than dragging yourself out of a warm bed only to discover it's all been in vain.







 
Dogs and I see eye to eye.





Thursday, October 24, 2002

 
Financially things have been a bit tough over the last few months. Setting up the business has slowly drained money away but has yet to start providing the income that Kev and I need. Those of you who have been in the position of not answering phones and doors will understand how tight things are. This evening however, I have spent some time reading the weblog of The Homeless Guy. I'm probably the last person to discover it but if you haven't visited the site before I'd recommend it.

Although I'm not quite certain where the next penny is coming from I have also, tonight, sat in my own home, watching videos on the t.v. and will tonight sleep in my own bed. Some days I think things probably can't get any worse but of course they can. I just have to get on and do stuff. He seems quite a remarkable bloke and I have now linked to him. Next time I start whingeing about how tired, broke or fed up I am you have permission to remind me to click through to his site and get a reality check.





Wednesday, October 23, 2002

 
I have returned refreshed from Blackpool and am in custody of my own laptop once more. Hurrah!

My prescence in the North seems to have triggered of a couple of events. First, in the early hours of Sunday morning there was a large fire right in the centre on the Front by Central Pier. We were staying up at the North Pier, probably the best part of a mile away but were up and about at 00:30 when it started and surprisingly didn't hear any sirens of the emergency services.

Now I see there was an earthquake in Manchester. To be honest, the amount of shagging that goes on in Blackpool during an Illuminations weekend it wouldn't surprise me if it felt like an earthquake! If we could harness all that sexual energy up to the National Grid we'd never have to pay for electricity ever again.

This year there wasn't any nookie for Kennamatic. To be honest my heart wasn't totally in it but at least it was a few days where I didn't think about work, let alone do any and that was a good thing. Of course, I've had to hit the ground running now I'm back. We did our fair amount of drinking, surprisingly more than I thought we would manage, and went clubbing. Like many a bloke, dancing has never been an activity you would catch me queueing up for and as a teenager it was rare to see me on the floor for anything other than the end of night slow dances. For the first time in my life however, I really want to be young again so I can be part of the club scene. Forget discos for middle aged people playing Hi Ho Silver Lining and Jumping Jack Flash, I want to be spending all my time listening to dance music and "throwing shapes" as I understand the young people call it these days. :)

We'll probably go again next year but for the meantime it's service as normal.





Wednesday, October 16, 2002

 
Still no sign of my laptop being returned! It's a bit of a bummer because even if they ring first thing tomorrow there's no time to get it. Then tomorrow evening I'm off to Blackpool. I'll not then be back until late Monday so Tuesday is the earliest I can get it and we are supposed to be putting together a folder for a prospect by Thursday and I need my machine for it. Still, I'm not going to let that spoil my few days away. Despite Kev being there Blackpool will be a work free zone!

I also won't have the computer with me so I'll no doubt have dreadful withdrawal symptoms. Last year I remember thinking how much I'd miss the writing and the activity, this year I will miss the contact with my online friends. It's a sign of a maturing relationship. Even though I add new links and read new blogs and journals I always feel "attached" quicker than in the old days, perhaps because I understand better how our cyber relationship works.

Well, I've managed to make that sound as though I'm off on a round the world cruise and won't be back for a year. Anyway, I'll be back in the land of the interwebnetthingy by Tuesday, and in the meantime, to give you something to read for 4 days I've posted the following list which I have stole shamelessly from Bingobowden who in turn had half-inched it from someone else.

TTFN.

50 Questions

1. Your name spelled backwards.
divaD


2. Where were your parents born?
Dad - Bramley, West Yorkshire.
Mum - Meanwood, Leeds, West Yorkshire


3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
This evenings e-mails


4. What's your favorite restaurant?
The small restaurant attached to a casino I belong to.


5. Last time you swam in a pool?
This morning.


6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes.


7. How many kids do you want?
I'm not sure. How many young goats can you keep in a 2 bedroom maisonette?


8. Type of music you dislike most?
Any group/genre ending metal.


9. Are you registered to vote?
Yes.


10. Do you have cable?
No.


11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Yes. I've also fallen off one and on top of it all had the ignomony of having it shoot out from between my legs before I'd sat on the saddle. That was marginally under 30 years ago and I'm not planning on renewing my acquaintance with them in the near future.


12. Ever prank call anybody?
I once set up two of them but had to have someone else make the calls as my voice would have been recognised. They were both higly successful but they need to be in a post of their own, perhaps coming soon(ish).


13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Yes, loads, including this last Easter Sunday at 2:00 in the afternoon.


14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
You must be kidding! I get vertigo if I stand up straight!


15. Furthest place you ever traveled.
Houston, Texas. Actually it might be Galveston, Tx. Id hav to get he old ruler out to measure to be dead certain.


16. Do you have a garden?
No. And plants all over the world breathe a sigh of relief.


17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Peanuts.


18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Yes. You can't spend 10 years in the Scouting organisation and not remember the words for the rest of your life.


19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Baths every Friday evening and showers in between as and when.


20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Not seen any.


21. Favorite pizza topping?
Vegetarian Hot One (Pizza Hut).


22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips, even if you do mean crisps.


23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
None being a boy. Or at least not now. The last time it would probably have been a plum colour, 1983 at The Rum Runner in Birmingham. New Romantics eh!


24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Good God no! When in the scouts we would make oak leaf fags. Not a great success and probably one of the main reasons I never started smoking ordinary ones.


25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No, nor a Mr Universe contest.


26. Orange Juice or apple?
O.J.


27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
Linda, my other half, and we went to the Chinese restaurant down the road.


28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
At this precise moment it's a Boost with Guarana, or Iguana as one of my friends insists on calling it. Normally it would be Bounty.


29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
May this year in the local elections.


30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
This very day as a neighbour has grown some and gave me a dozen.


31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes, for swimming and cycling when I was a lad and for selling now I'm a big boy.


32. Are you a good cook?
Not bad. I do all the cooking at home but that nowadays consists of co-ordinating the cooking of such delicacys as potato waffles, pie and frozen peas due to the strictures of time. When I had a more relaxed working day I could cook a pretty mean Leek and Mushroom bake in filo pastry with red and yellow pepper sauces. Move over Delia!


33. Do you know how to pump your own gas.
Vehicularly or gastrically?


34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No.


35. Sprite or 7-Up?
7-Up as the lesser of two evils.


36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
No. Other than a company tie on occasions.


37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
60 soluble Solpadeine. Try saying that when drunk!


38. Ever throw up in public?
Oh yes. And more than once.


39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Can I be greedy and find true love with a millionairess?


40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not sure. I fell in love with Linda at first touch.


41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Possibly, if only I knew what it was I could answer with more certainty.


42. Can ex's be friends?
Yes.


43. Who was the last person you visited in a Hospital?
Laura, Ian and Jacquis daughter, who got pneumonia early this year.


44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I've failed to remember.


45. What message is on your answering machine?
A typically sensible and boring one as it covers both my home and work phone messages.


46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Nope, you've got me on this one as well.


47. What was the name of your first pet?
Mandy, a Dutch rabbit.


48. What is in your purse?
Or wallet in my case. Too many bits of plastic to list, cashpoint slips, a lotteryticket, a prayer written by a friend which I carry for superstitious reasons but by no means enough money.


49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Play a simple computer game like solitaire or Mah Jongg whilst eating a couple of choccie biscuits.


50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
The skills of the doctoring and nursing staff of Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children. Still grateful after 40 years.





Monday, October 14, 2002

 
I'm going to throw this bloody replacement laptop against the wall in a minute, just you wait and see!!!





Sunday, October 13, 2002

 
It starts as a low rumble. I don't need to look at the clock in the car, it is between 10:58 and 10:59. I'm heading into Weybridge and just turning off the river road to swing round in front of The Minnow. The noise increases now not so much a rumble as a throaty resonance, the noise has movement to it, not just sound. It's to my left. Further down the road are two women talking, they both have dogs who are re-acquainting themselves in the time honoured tradition and a little further down on the right an older man walks along with a young boy, his grandson I would think, they look about two generations apart. The noise seems almost to be overhead now and the women break off from talking and look heavenwards, their dogs also track the sky, not I suspect alerted by the noise as much as by the vibrations that they will already be feeling which we have to come, their heads and their mistresses heads all turning in unison. The grandfather stoops down and points, the young boy looking excitedly up where his grandfather indicates.

I don't need to look, I've seen it hundreds of times, no not hundreds, thousands of times. It's been flying 32 years. Of course, just because I don't need to see it doesn't mean that I won't look. I will. We all will. It's very noise and beauty commands that you look. The noise changes completely. It drops around half an octave and I know it's passed over me and is heading out to the right, I slow the car. The others still watch. I still can't see it ye... - no there it is, it's broken the line of the cars bodywork and I see it through the right hand window. It's banking, around 10o to 15o, heading for the M4 corridor which will take it out to the West Country, over The Atlantic and on to New Yorks JFK airport. And with the view comes the vibration. You feel it inside you, the thrust of the twin Rolls Royce engines, not as much as when you are directly under it at take-off, then you feel every organ in your body vibrate, you feel it in your bones, literally.

Just before we lose sight it start to flatten out, it must be around Windsor, flying over the castle. Even The Queen doesn't escape living under the flight path. Is she there? Is she looking? Working on State papers, the first drafts of her Christmas speech or writing to The Heads of Commonwealth. And then it's gone. The noise drops away rapidly, shielded by the houses to the right. The women resume their conversation and the dogs, no longer interested in each other have a scratch or look for more interesting smells to divert their attention. And the grandfather takes the boys hand and continue their afternoon perambulations. I press the accelerator gently and continue my journey as Concorde continues it's own.





Thursday, October 10, 2002

 
Dear Lord! I am just about online with this atrocious machine that Head Office have given me whilst mine is repaired.

Charles Babbage himself was probably using a better specified machine than this. It's running Windows 95, IE5.0, has a modem with a max speed of 19.2 kbps and the ability to crash without a moments hesitation. It;s also very interesting to see whose sites render correctly and whose are all over the place using such old stuff.

I'm beginning to appreciate my own little laptop even though it is prehistoric. I suppose I should be grateful this isn't running on Dos!

So, expect very little in posting, but I can just about cope with comments so that's where I'll mainly lurk for the next few days.





Tuesday, October 08, 2002

 
This looks as though it's a spoof but it isn't. Haynes have really done a "car" manual on men. Expect this to be a big seller this Christmas.








 
The problem I had with my computer a couple of months back has re-occurred and so it goes off for repair, again, tomorrow. If I'm quiet(er) for a bit you'll know why.





Sunday, October 06, 2002

 
Spent most of the weekend sorting out Lindas computer for her to use. She's owned it for about 2 years but hardly uses it. Her previous one was dos based and she doesn't like Windows but that's because it doesn't do what she wants when she wants it to, though that will come. At least now when I go to Blackpool she will be able to do stuff over the weekend if she wants to.

This afternoon I put into place the first part of "The Great Get Kev Organised" plan. This is called for as he is by far the most disorganised person I have ever met, at least in the area of time management. I wouldn't hold myself up as any great shakes in that department but compared to him I am perfection. He now has a time sheet planner for this coming week which he is going to start to fill out tonight and I will help out when we meet up tomorrow. I suspect he won't get to look at it tonight due to his poor time management! I am doing the same because we both need to have more focus and I need to concentrate on work time being work time and not time to do other thing under the guise of working. One of the great problems of self-employment is self-motivation or at least self-regulation. I need to stand over myself with a big stick and I'm going to weald it now because really I should be sorting out a couple of faxes instead of talking to you lot.

You've all led me astray. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!





Friday, October 04, 2002

 
Oh dear, here's an idea that is a disaster waiting to happen. (Link via Vicky).

It obviously hasn't occurred to those concerned that the London Eye works because you get to see some world famous landmarks from an unusual angle. I lived in Birmingham for three years and I quite liked the place, but it would only interest me to go up in it to see if I could see, 1) my old house, 2) my old office, 3) anywhere else I went. I can't think of one tourist attraction that will pull in the punters, and the first person to say The Bullring gets a slap.







 
Heard Scott McKenzies "San Francisco (Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair)" earlier today. The song that made me and my friends into hippies.

Not long after July 1967 when the song was released, and down in California the good burghers of SF were taking to growing their hair, wearing psychadelic clothes and looking at the world through hallucigenic eyes, a coach party of 10 year olds from Fieldings Junionr School set off for Holland.

I don't know how we would have heard the song, it's not like radio then was like it is now. Kids listened to Junior Choice with Ed "Stewpot" Stewart and then had to suffer Two Way Family Favourites on a Sunday while Mother got the Sunday lunch prepared. Somehow however it had entered our consciousness. We knew all about hippies, it mentioned them in the song, they wore flowers in their hair. We'd seen pictures as well, they had long hair and looked not unlike John Lennon. Our first port of call was Amsterdam.

We couldn't believe our eyes. There were hippies. There were people with long hair and colourful clothes and it was all too much for a group of highly impressionable boys and girls away from home for the first time and in a foreign country. We decided we had to be part of it. There was one major problem though. Of all the hairstyles that are available for a young boy about town, one of the least likely to allow flowers to adorn the hair was a short back and sides. Disaster. We had nicked some old dying tulips from round the back of a flower stall and then discovered that rather than have them threaded through our locks they just fell out, and for kids with ears as big as mine there wasn't even the chance of tucking them behind the lugholes and pretending. We were not to be outdone by this small setback. We gathered up our treasure trove of Hollands most famous blooms from the road where they'd fallen and started tucking the now broken stems through our school gaberdine raincoat belts.

We were a riot of colour and immediately caused a riot amongst the accompanying teachers who swooped down on us and demanded we removed them immediately. This was exactly as we had been led to expect as authority tried to stamp out the freewill of our little party. Authority won. We had to remove them all and, with a reminder that we were all ambassadors for our school, sent back to the place we were staying and made to stay in our rooms with the understanding that we had let our fellow pupils down.

We didn't flirt with hippydom after that. Nobody had told us we would be subject to such harsh penalties and the shame we had brought upon the good names of Britons abroad. Where was the peace and love and freedom we had heard about. Well it bloody well wasn't in Amsterdam I can tell you.







 
..and I shall be letting down the school again in a fortnights time because it's my annual lads weekend in Blackpool. Hooray!




Thursday, October 03, 2002

 
For the last week I've been trying out Mail Washer, (I know of this link although I got the programme off a cover disk), because in the last few weeks the amount of spam I've been getting has increased dramatically. I was pleased to with it from the beginning but am even happier now as it highlighted an incoming mail with a virus attached from a source I would have accepted without a quibble.





Wednesday, October 02, 2002

 
Cripes!

Something I've always thought about doing, and because of some third party advice decided to do now, is to join MENSA, or at least to try to. When I said I'd do it I thought you needed an I.Q. in the high 130s and hoped I might with luck and a following wind just squeeze in. I duly registered on their website and was sent the 12 page home test to complete and send back. It was then that I discovered you need a result in the mid-140s and above to become a member. Not to be deterred I filled the test in and returned it for marking with the idea that although it wouldn't be good enough to progress further, if I got a score of 135 or just over I would be more than satisfied. The results were returned to me today.

I scored 155. I'm not sure I believe it. They could of course mark slightly up on the home test to encourage people to move to the next stage of the invigilated tests that take place around the country but even allowing for that it's higher than I thought likely.

I know I.Q. is more to do with potential than achievement and that in it's own way is a negative in finding out the result as it could encourage me to realise that I perhaps have "wasted my life" as I'm sure quite a few of my ex-teachers would have seen it. I also know that when it comes to the main test I may well freeze. This is what happened in every exam I took when younger. I hope that having not sat a test or exam for 20+ years I might cope with it better. I've sent off my form and hope to sit the test sometime this month.

I nearly didn't make this post as I didn't want it to look as though I was boasting in some way. I certainly have plenty of reasons for it not to go to my head. If that score is confirmed, and I don't think it will be, it certainly hasn't helped with me being sensible in situations where I should be. It certainly hasn't enabled me to have control of parts of my personal life. It didn't stop me failing 88.88% of my O'levels. And it certainly hasn't made me "a better person" than anyone else I know.

I'll probably make a post when I get the final results and let you in to why I am going down this path. Until then, once I've got over the surprise, I'll just carry on being a person who might not be right but likes to be wrong at the top of their voice.





Tuesday, October 01, 2002

 
Work seems to be taking up all my waking hours at the moment so I took another step towards severing my ties with 3verest.

After yesterday mornings sales meeting I had a chat with John, (my boss), to discuss how and possibly when I might leave. We also discussed my beginning to wind down the amount of work I am doing for them.

We'll have to see how it goes but it does feel strange. I realised it's like in an adventure film where the hero walks across the rope bridge and then all of a sudden the rope starts to fray. Every time a strand of rope goes there's an audible snap. I keep thinking I'm hearing the snap and I certainly am, sub-conciously, feeling the strands start to break between myself and the past.

I hope the bridge analogy doesn't mean I'm about to plummet into an abyss, although in the films the hero always escapes. The baddie tends to go down at a speed of knots. Eventually I'm going to find out if I'm the hero or the baddie!