Sunday, October 31, 2004

 
Two weeks ago this afternoon I was stood in a bar downing cool refreshing lager in between snogging a bird from Sheffield as though we were both 15 years old, this week I'm being told how I haven't done the shopping "properly" and Lindas stressing because one of her myriad pairs of plastic gloves used in her hierarchy of cleaning rituals has been "ruined".

No prizes for guessing which location I'd rather be in.

posted at 15:06.......link.......



Friday, October 29, 2004

 
S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D

posted at 09:32.......link.......



Tuesday, October 26, 2004

 
The fact that there are so many posts regarding the death of John Peel show just how fondly he was held by so mnay people. Often when "famous" people die loads of fellow celebrities lead an avalanche of tributes, most of which you know they didn't mean. In Johns case, the genuine affection that people had for him shines through. Whether it is by the listeners over the years who have had their music knowledge increased way beyond what they would have expected, or enjoyed Home Truths on Radio 4, or the many groups who owe their fame to his championing their cause, he will be missed.

posted at 21:15.......link.......





 
Just can't resist a meme!


1.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Clutch of Constables by Ngaio Marsh and How to Master The Art of Selling by Tom Hopkins.

2. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 11.51pm (as I type)

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Bugs Bunny eating a carrot.

4 FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Go

5.FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? Management Today (How boring and sad is that!)

6. BABIES? No thank you, I’ve already eaten.

7. FAVOURITE SOUND? The Sea.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Not happened yet. But my mum is 73 and that feelings getting nearer.

9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? What time is it?

10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Mine plays a tune so I’ve no idea.

11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: There won’t be one.

12. FAVOURITE COLOUR? Purple. (Just too camp!)

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? Calm.

14. FAVOURITE FOOD? Sausage, Mash and Baked Beans, and nearly everything my mum cooked when I was growing up.

15. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I can play an instrument, the flute, but if I could choose again it would have to be a piano, and I swear I’m going to learn the Ukelele by the time I go to Blackpool next year!

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? If time and conditions permit.

17. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? That’s the best offer I’ve had this week!

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Cool now, scary when young.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? An Austin 1100.

20. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My Grandma Kenna

21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Virtually all white wines, regardless of quality, most lagers and quite a lot of spirits. Oh sod it, just put all of it!

22. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Toolbox, spare diesel and water, rubbish that I haven’t got round to binning yet, and other stuff I dare not even look at.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes. I’m a real man.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? Tough call between psychiatrist and airline pilot.

25. PERSON LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO THIS? The Emperor Caligula.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes. And still hoping to feel it again, even if it while playing away.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Depends whose round it is.

28. FAVOURITE MOVIE? The Sound of Music. Oh and I normally also list La Grande Bouffe with Marcello Mastroianni.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? To paraphrase Mr Morecambe, I type with all the right fingers and all the right keys, but not necessarily in the right order.

30. WHATS UNDER YOUR BED? Daren’t look. But I should think that dust bunnies figure pretty large in that department.

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 13.

32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Golf

33. SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. I can’t, I nicked it off someone who nicked it off someone before that. Perhaps we’re just a fine pair of nickers.

34. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? Zell-am-See

35. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My FCUK t-shirt that is kept only for Blackpool.

36. BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? For holidays, mountains. Sod citys, bugger beaches.

37. TECHNOLOGY OR ART? Technology, unless we have music as an art, then it would be art, except I like dance music so I guess it’s both.

38. COMEDY OR HORROR? Comedy for definite.

39. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Breasts. What can I say, I was deprived as a baby!

40. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? Different times for different reasons.

41.THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Trojan Boxed Set UK Hits.

42. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Oh thank god for that, I thought you said massacred.

43. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind. It better be otherwise I’m on a hiding to nothing.

44. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 8:30 if all goes to plan.

45.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? A wife. (Sorry, couldn’t resist)

46. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? People who don’t know how to deal with roundabouts, filter lights, or yellow boxes.

47. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? A sports car.

48. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yes. Too mnay things have happened to make me think otherwise.

49. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Late autumn or early spring. I’m after those days when it is very sunny but there’s a chill in the air.

50. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I’ve always liked the idea of being able to stop time, rather like Piper in Charmed.

51. DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? No, way too painful for a wimp like me, although I’ve always fancied having the logos of the companies I’ve worked for tattooed down my arm as a mark of slavery.

52. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Yes, for anything up to 4 seconds. Have been trying to juggle my finances for the last few years but failed miserably.

53. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? The one where everything goes right from beginning to end. (Still awaiting it’s arival).

54. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Hamburgers. If god had of wanted me to eat raw fish I’d have been born a polar bear.

55. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO REPLY? Don’t know anyone as sad as me who would be bothered to respond.

56. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? I borrowed it from someone whose site is linked on the left and begins with Y.

57.WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? Any Peanuts cartoon strip that involves Snoopy.

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? To start, my own Winter Veg soup with some rustic french bread. Champagne and lime sorbet to cleanse the old palette. Main course of Roast Pork cooked with a Cointreau glaze. (Cooked once by my mum and the only time in living memory where I ate any fat on meat). For dessert, Raspberry Souffle as served at Hotel Montechero, Montechero, Portugal, in 1986. I’ll defer to the wine waiter to bring appropriate bottles at regular intervals.

59. IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? At this precise moment it would be San Francisco so I could see my step-sister.

60. DO YOU HAVE PETS? Not any more. Past tally has included a rabbit, a cat and two hamsters.
posted at 21:11.......link.......



Saturday, October 23, 2004

 
In an effort to occasionally discover whether Kev and I have any sort of credit rating we apply for credit cards. Usually when they pretty much guarantee we will be accepted, even though we tell the poor salesperson that there isn't a snowballs chance of us getting one.

A few weeks back, Kev got a letter from Capital One guaranteeing acceptance. So he fills it in just to see what happens.

Yesterday he gets the reply saying that indeed he has been accepted despite his adverse credit rating. They are initially giving him a £200 credit limit. In order to take up the offer all he has to do is to send them a security deposit of £200, which when cleared, will activate his credit card.

Please tell me that there is someone out there who has actually fallen for this. It took about 5 minutes to realise what a tremendous scam this is. So, if anyone would like to borrow money from me.......

posted at 21:40.......link.......





 
This years Blackpool trip as bullet points

• Missed the M6 toll road and had to go up and down the M6 to rejoin. It added the best part of an hour to the journey, a bit of a pain when we didn't even need to use it in the first place!


• Had breakfast at Tescos Longton, nr Stoke on Trent. How near was Lynn/BC&O? Dreadfully small portions!!


• Rumours, (aka The Knicker Bar) has gone downhill, rapidly. The only good thing about it is you can get served pretty quickly.


• The Tower Bar was as lively as usual and thank god they've extended the number of bars. Now only queueing two deep instead of three deep.


• Met 14 women from Sunderland who were at school together or were sisters. They seem to enjoy themselves. The week before they had spent in Spain, flew home, washed and repacked and headed for Blackpool. And no lady readers, I don't know where they found husbands to put up with such shennannigans.


• Saw Sandra who we've seen for a couple of years before. Kept my hands behind my back whilst talking to her so at least she couldn't accuse me of wandering hands again this year.


• Heaven & Hell was great again, particularly Hell.


• Kev didn't have his mobile phone with him so his wife and others rang mine. Someone called him, I shoved on a pair of trousers and ran to his room wearing just trousers and one sock and realised I'd locked myself out of my room. Had to be rescued by someone with a pass key.


• Local bar had three strippers on who are quite famous. Being blokes we felt compelled to go watch. Being from Yorkshire I was even more compelled as it was free! However, at the end you could have your photo taken with them for a fiver. Yes of course I did, hang the expense! One for the private photo album rather than the family one!!!! If your lucky (this would mean your a bloke, probably but not neccessarily) I might post it somewhere and link to it. For future reference they are called The Centrefold Girls.


• Once again I left it very late to pick someone up. Halfway through Sunday afternoon and she was heading home at 5 o clock. (Once again, a South Yorkshire lass, and once again called "Barb"). However we've arranged to keep in touch and definitely meet up at the start of the weekend next year. However, that was plan one, by the time she left we were talking about trying to meet up during the year, probably when I travel North to see suppliers. I'm to ring her next week and then I'll find out if things have changed since she returned home and sobered up.


• I was attacked by J.C. brandishing a ham sandwich. This is the funniest thing I have seen in ages but I suspect you needed to be there.


• An amazingly clear journey South, thanks in no small part to a) The Thelwell Viaduct being clear(ish) and the M6 toll being found first time on the way back.


• General agreement that i) we are coming back next year, although JC says he isn't, and ii) we might go to a different hotel, (the one Barb stays in if all goes well), and JC thinks he fancies a change. Spot the obvious!


• Kev is coming more and more to "get" Blackpool. Not bad for a southern softie. JD, our new rep, thinks it's an awful place. Do I hear the sound of someone making a rather poor career decision?

posted at 21:37.......link.......



Thursday, October 21, 2004

 
They talk about serious crime never touching most people. I seem to be wandering through the middle of it at the moment.

In the last post I mentioned that the two days before we went to Blackpool were manic. One of the reasons was we were fitting some shutters to a house in Chiswick until 9:30 in the evening on Thursday. When we went back today it was to find we were just a few doors away from the home of Robert Symons. As you can imagine, the neighbours are all shocked. Even more so based on the fact that the murderer appears on a CCTV camera for an hour trying other properties before the Symons household. The CCTV does however mean that there is a good chance of catching the murderer.

Yesterday we met up with JD who has started work with us. Whilst we were in Blackpool he was involved in a drama of his own. He has been suing his next door neighbour who is also an ex business partner for some £70K. On Thursday evening four blokes were doorknocking his road and having called on his neighbour John opened the door to whoever knocked his. Whilst the caller talked about carpet cleaning he showed him his warrant card and asked to come in. When he let him in he was informed to get his family quickly, throw some clothes into a bag, and be prepared to move out to a safe location immediately. It transpired the police had caught wind that his neighbour had taken out a contract on him which had gone live for this weekend. Once they were safely away armed police went into the neighbours and arrested him for conspiracy to murder. They interrogated the guy who seemed quite happy to talk since coming face to face with half a dozen armed officers, and told them the story. They went back and "met" the hitman on his was to the house.

It's easy to think what is the world coming to when this thing is going on in our everyday lives, but to be this close to it seems incredible, so lord knows what it is like to be directly involved. Well, I know a little what it is like because JDs wife woke up a couple of days ago pinning his arms to the bed screaming at him to identify himself and explain what he was doing there.

Oh, and if the neighbour is convicted he will face a sentence of 25 years.

posted at 19:16.......link.......



Tuesday, October 19, 2004

 
Well, the two days before Blackpool were so manic that I didn't get a chance to go online so thats's why I've been missing for about a week. Blackpool news to follow when I get something like back to normal. In the meantime I shall carry on acting like I always do when I return from Blackpool, like a sulky 6 year old whose had their toys taken away. posted at 09:36.......link.......



Tuesday, October 12, 2004

 
I must say, our reunions are becoming a hotbed of sexual desire and frustration. Just like being teenagers again as we were back then.

M fancies N, as she did all those years ago. (This is the M I was going to ask out. We've been out once and nothing will happen other than friendship). M professes not to understand the "desire" of casual sex. If N said yes she'd be in bed with him before his head stopped nodding. Meanwhile, N is not tempted, he has only been married a few years and is still blissfully happy. M's friend A fancies J but he isn't interested in her, having just come out of a long relationship and a feeling that A brings a lot of baggage. In the meantime P carries on trying to get somewhere with A but isn't making much headway.

Apart from requiring a full knowledge of the alphabet, I think there may be a soap opera being unfolded within our lives.



posted at 11:09.......link.......



Sunday, October 10, 2004

 
Our new salesman starts tomorrow. Assuming he turns up. I've spent the last few days organising, developing and printing off price lists for different products. He'd better use them or I'll strangle the sod.

Yesterday was our reunion trip to Weston-Super-Mare. Not as sunny or as warm as last year at least it didn't rain. A bracing walk along the front, some food and drink, and good company. Got back about midnight and "her indoors" had the hump because I was later than she thought I would be.

Got a few days of rushing about getting things done and then it will be the early Friday morning start for ther Blackpool weekend.

Where does time go?

posted at 17:25.......link.......



Tuesday, October 05, 2004

 
I was walking through Walpole Park today and the ground was strewn with conkers. They were everywhere, just lying there, a situation that would never have been allowed to exist in my day.

The annual harvesting of conkers was a major event for us schoolboys. We would watch them grow for weeks, working out which was going to be the biggest, and thus possibly the best. Each morning, lunchtime and after school would result in loads of us shooting into the park and foraging for the conker that was going to make our fortune this year.

Having scavenged through undergrowth and into gorse bushes on our search we would take home our haul, the large ones with pride of place, but a craftily placed "cheesecutter" for use when you thought an opponents prize conker may be ready to split. Once they were home you had to take the decision faced by every conker player and a decision of the utmost moral dilemma. To soak or bake, or not to soak or bake!

Baking in the oven or soaking them in vinegar was morally dubious if not outright cheating, but those who soaked first and then baked, well, quite honestly, hanging was too good for them!

The next day, you would swagger into the playground with your hopeful horse-chestnut dangling from a piece of string. Did you opt for a few preliminary skirmishes to test out the ability of your conker to achieve the all important swing/force ratio, or did you immediately challenge the owner of the champion conker in the hope of immediate glory.

Great store was set by the number your conker achieved. A 4er or a 5er was pretty commonplace, by the time it became a 12er or 13er it had a pretty good reputation. If it ever reached the heights of winning 30 or 40 times you could then retire it, keep it in your shoebox of important artefacts, and dine out on sherbert dabs and cola cubes for the rest of the winter term.

Of course, even the counting of wins courted controversy, If your 5er beat a 17er did it become a 6er or a 23er? Only those who needed to bolster their flagging self-esteem even pandered to the idea that transferring the number of wins was acceptable.

Autumn was the season of scavenging, threading, bruised knuckles, keen sport and pride.

But what now of all those boyhood games, the memories of them slowly decomposing like the conkers that presently lay on the ground. And the boys of today, not engaging in hand to hand combat, with nature all around, but fighting pixellated warriors against each other, shrouded in the gloom of their personal prisons. If you have a child, go take them to the park if you haven't already, go get some conkers, and take part in a real life struggle of the weak against the strong and triumph over adversity. Go make yourself a champion!

posted at 19:21.......link.......





 
Magic 105.4 FM are running a competition to identify three voices. The sum to be won, unless it went today and I missed it is around £24000. There have obviously been a number of wrong guesses but they are down to everyone knowing which two of them are and just guessing the third.

Now, Magic advertise themselves as the "more music" station and to be fair they often have 5 or 6 records in a row, if not more, without the dj talking in between. Now, based on their slogan, am I the only one who's amazed that people are guessing the names of celebrities and actresses which have no musical connection?

I may of course be wrong and it turns out to be someone who came third on Big Brother or something but it would seem logical, particularly as the other two are singers, that the third one will be as well. Unfortunately, I don't know who that third one is, I could do with the £24k!

posted at 19:21.......link.......



Monday, October 04, 2004

 
Things have moved on a bit recently.

The company that wanted us to work with them in exchange for large amounts of money have now gone away. Whilst it would have been nice if it had all come off, we were a bit suspicious of one or two things and we were proved to be right to be so. We had been careful to not get too involved and that means it cost us nothing to talk to them. Someone else involved has lost out on about 8k of income. The real shame is that their idea is really very very good and would have worked. We're keeping the idea on the back burner until we are in a position to make use of it.

That someone else, mentioned above, is about to come and work for us, assuming he keeps his word. He'll be selling for us and expects to earn large amounts of money. That being the case, we'll expect to see large amounts of business coming in from him. Again, we are protecting ourselves by having him self-employed, so if he doesn't sell he doesn't cost us. If he does sell, he's self funding. The only down side is that I am spending most of my time compiling paper price lists for him for all our core products. We normally just price off my computer.

Mum has invited me and Linda out for Christmas lunch. The rest of the family are away. Linda has decided she doesn't want to go. I've decided my Mum isn't going to be on her own on Christmas day. Great, 86 days to go and we're arguing about it already

Cycling continues but the vomiting doesn't. All in all that's a definite plus.

This coming Saturday I'm off to Weston-Super-Mare on one of our re-union jaunts. Last year it was very sunny and in the high 70s. What hope of that this year? And the weekend after that it's Blackpool.

There, you know about as much as there is to know.

posted at 21:03.......link.......





 
Things have moved on a bit recently.

The company that wanted us to work with them in exchange for large amounts have money have now gone away. Whilst it would have been nice if it had all come off, we were a bit suspicious of one or two things and we were preoved to be right to do so. We had been careful to not get too involved and that means it cost us nothing to talk to them. Someone else involved has lost out on about 8k of income.

That someone else, mentioned abopve, is about to come and work for us, assuming he keeps his word. He'll be selling for us and expects to earn large amounts of money. That being the case, we'll expect to see large amounts of business coming in from him. Again, we are protecting ourselves by having him self-employed, so if he doesn't sell he doesn't cost us. If he does sell, he's self funding. The only down side is that I am spending most of my time compiling paper price lists for him for all our core products. We normally just price off my computer.

Mum has invited me and Linda out for Christmas lunch. The rest of the family are away. Linda has decided she doesn't want to go. I've decided my Mum isn't going to be on her own on Christmas day. Great, 6 days to go and we're arguing about it already

Cycling continues but the vomiting doesn't. All in all that's a definite plus.

This coming Saturday I'm off to Weston-Super-Mare on one of our re-union jaunts. Last year it was very sunny and in the high 70s. What hope of that this year? And the weekend after that it's Blackpool.

There, you know about as much as there is to know.

posted at 21:03.......link.......